Children, at the ages between 0-6, are still trying to comprehend emotions. Often, they can not express their feelings the right way, which can lead to an outburst or the infamous cold shoulder. When children yell, it’s easier to understand what they feel but when they give you the silent treatment, it’s harder to understand where it’s coming from. Is it anger, or are they upset about not getting something?
As a parent, the silent treatment can be frustrating and confusing. Leaving you unsure of how to respond. Understanding the reason behind the silence and employing strategies will help bridge the communication gap. Open communication can help bridge the gap and foster a healthy relationship between you and your child.
Understanding the silent treatment
Before we dive into the how, let’s talk about the why. Why is your child giving you the silent treatment?
This behaviour often stems from a place of an emotional outburst. When your child is unable to express their feelings of anger, sadness and frustration they resort to the silence. They might also be seeking attention or testing boundaries in a way that feels safe.
Recognising the reason behind the silence is the first step towards combating it. This helps you as a parent understand the underlying emotions and move forward with empathy rather than frustration.
Strategies to combat the silent treatment
- Stay calm and be patient: Your child is already feeling big emotions. You adding on to the pile by being angry, frustrated or anxious will only drive them away from you. The best course of action here is to take a breath and approach them with caution. Show your child you respect their emotions without pushing them. That you are here when they feel ready to talk to you.
- Create a safe space: Communication is key here. Create an environment where your child is comfortable enough to talk about their thoughts and feelings. Dr. Swati Vats, President of Podar Education Network, asks parents to talk to their children when the situation has diffused. Having a one-on-one conversation in a relaxed setting assures them that you are willing to listen to them without judgement or anger.
- Avoid punishment: While you may feel the need to reprimand and raise your voice on your child, it’s not the best course of action. This approach often backfires. Punishing them for the behaviour will only push them away. They will associate communication with negative consequences.
- Distract them: Engage in activities with your children. Divert their mind before you sit and discuss the issue. A face-to-face conversation might feel more like an interrogation, so try doing something together whether it’s playing a game together or going for a walk. This will create a relaxed atmosphere where your child might feel more comfortable discussing their emotions.
Remember, with children, patience is the way to go. Force or frustration will only lead to them bottling up their feelings. With assurances of love and understanding, you can strengthen your relationship and transform the silence into healthy communication.Â
Join us now at Podar Prep Preschool, where we encourage and foster healthy communication with your child.
