Sibling rivalry and disputes among friends are a natural and inevitable part of growing up. Whether it’s fighting over toys, arguing about whose turn it is to watch TV, or simply not agreeing on anything, disputes are bound to happen. However, teaching children how to resolve these conflicts on their own is crucial for their personal growth and development. In this blog, we will explore how to help children resolve conflicts on their own and provide practical tips for fostering this ability.
Why Teaching Conflict Resolution Matters?
Resolving conflicts independently empowers children. When kids can navigate challenges, they build self-confidence and a sense of responsibility, which are essential aspects of a childhood curriculum.
Furthermore, by learning how to empathise with their siblings, express their feelings healthily, and come up with mutually beneficial solutions, children build the foundation for healthy relationships.
Steps to Encourage Self-Resolution in Sibling & Friend Disputes
1. Seeking help
Encourage children to call for an adult or go to an adult and inform him or her when they are going through a sibling dispute. Adults must realise that this is not tattling and the child should not be blamed for coming for help as this is the first step of conflict resolution.
When the child’s efforts at this step fails then he/she ‘fails’ to believe in any kind of resolution and will then resort to violence.
2. Taking turns or sharing
Sharing is an important social skill that is needed to survive with friends and siblings and children should be motivated and complimented for doing it. Schedule play time at home in such a way that it includes sharing toys and taking turns and helps in developing an instinctive habit to offer toys to siblings and friends.
3. Using language instead of hands
This technique teaches children to talk about their needs, their likes and dislikes. Teach them to communicate it to their friends and siblings.
“Please don’t push my toys.”
“Please don’t push me.”
“You are hurting me.”
Such phrases help children voice their boundaries instead of resorting to hitting their friend or sibling.
4. Teach children to walk away
A very important technique for children in early childhood education years, is to walk away. This can be very helpful when dealing with bullies, instead of standing and arguing or appealing to the bully, is to walk away from him/her.
5. Discussing and planning with adults
Children should feel comfortable to tell their parents if a certain bully or some of their friends tease them. After this, the parents can sit with the child and help them plan what to do and when. This helps the child understand that there is always a way out of a problem and this also helps their self- esteem and confidence as they are assured by the safe feeling that their parents are there for them.
For repeated instances of misbehaviour, it is important to observe children who experience repeated serious conflict not because they are ‘problem children’ but because they are children facing problems who need guidance.
In such cases you can try the following:
- Identify and specify instances of misbehaviour.
- Observe what happens before and after the behaviour.
- Measure how often it happens and how long it lasts.
- Find a pattern in the behaviour.
- Bring about the change and implement it.
- Continue measuring the behaviour.
- Every time the child exhibits the new behaviour, acknowledge it and appreciate the child.
Conclusion
Teaching children to resolve disputes is a valuable investment in their social-emotional development. By fostering an environment of fairness and empathy, parents can help their children develop the skills they need to work through conflicts on their own, setting them on the path to becoming compassionate individuals.
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